Psychotic Girl

In addition to being female, she was psychotic. I hooked up with her at the Holiness Church in Alapaha. There was a spaghetti plate sale for some charity. I was so bored that going to the Church for a spaghetti plate seemed, if not exciting, at least funner than what I was doing. It was there she told me that the four horsemen come and gone and that the time was nigh. I thought, “this girl is crazy, but I bet she has some drugs, and I am all out.” So, I pretended to be interested. And in a way I was – not because I actually believed in that religious nonsense, but for psychological reasons.

“So, the end is nigh … what does that even mean?  The end of what? Of all of this chaos and tragedy? There is really nothing left – I mean in terms of government or economic system, or nation-state, or infrastructure. Right?”

The end of the world.

“The end of the world?”

Yeh. As we know it. The end of human society.

“And how do you know this?”

My brother. Long story, but he was called to heaven to accompany the Jesus and the four horses of the apocalypse – except they were cars. And Jesus is a badass. Maybe its his alter-ego. I don’t know.

“Maybe his anima was PMSing.”


“Nothing. Jung? Nothing, just … a reference.”

Anyway, Jesus drove the four horsemen. They were actually cars – most of them named after horses, but they were cars. And Jesus was given the Key by God. Turns out his name is Bob. Who would have guessed that? Anyway, the world is about to end. I don’t even know why I am here. He never listened. Why would he now? I’m outta here.

She got up to leave, and I tried to stop her. “Wait, can you tell me more before you leave? Maybe I need to go too.’ I added,  “I mean, not necessarily with you – but maybe I need to get out of here” so that she wouldn’t be weirded out. She blinked, looked incredulous, but she stood still long enough for me to say, “Just long enough for me to finish the spaghetti plate. You can have some if you want. … I would offer to buy you one, but I didn’t bring anything else to trade.”

She scoffed and said that she helped made them and had had more than she cared for. And now that she was done helping her mom polish furniture on a sinking ship, it was time to go.

“Did you tell your mom about the end being nigh?”

She didn’t believe me. Or, maybe it is more like she doesn’t care. She believes Jesus will save her. Especially now that he took Michael into heaven – Micheal is my brother – He will take care of her. So, she is just going to spend her time doing good until Jesus comes back. Tomorrow she is joining the black parade to honor the dead and feed their abandoned children.

“You don’t think Jesus is going to look after you, like the rest of your family?”

Not after what Michael told me. Jesus … he’s off his rocker, or has gone bad or something. I don’t know. But look at the shit we are already in. If there is a God, he can’t be trusted. So, I am getting out of here.

“Where are you going?”

To the wilderness: like Jesus.

“And Buddha, and Moses, and Mohammad, and John Smith – or whatever his name was.”

What are you talking about?


Another one of those references? You are always talking about nothing. Anyway, eat your spaghetti. Or not. But I am getting out of here.

“Please. I will be quiet and eat. You just tell me the story. OK?  I mean, where are you going, for example?”

After staring for a moment, she continued. “I told you I am going to the wilderness. I don’t know exactly where. I haven’t even thought about that yet. That way, I guess.  I know there’s some farmland and some woods back that way. I went walking back there a few times. So I will go until I find some woods. Till I feel like I am far enough away from people when shit hits the fan again – and for real this time. It’s going to get bad. I am pretty sure.  And if it ain’t, then I will just come back.  … If they want to stay, that’s fine.”

Between bites: “Yeh. What are you taking with you – and how long do you expect this to last?”

I don’t know.

“Are you not taking anything with you?”


“Why don’t you go home and get some things – and meet me back here? I mean, I want to hear the rest of the story, but I don’t want to hold you up. – And its probably a good idea to eat before we wander off into the woods.”

I don’t know.  I’m not sure I want some random guy I don’t know going with me.

“Yeh. I get that. And that’s cool. I will leave whenever, but I would like to hear what you’re brother said, if you don’t mind.”

… OK

“So, I am like totally out of weed. If you have any, you should bring it. I have some scotch and vodka and stuff. What would you like me to bring? I can go home and get it and come back here. Or we can just go to my house when you get back. Its right over there – on the way.”

Sounds like a deal.


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